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When you can’t sleep

For some reason I can’t sleep tonight. So instead of tossing and turning, I have got up out of my bed and here I am at my computer. I hadn’t thought of blogging as a ‘cure’ for insomnia but I may as well do something constructive with this time.

As you may have guessed – I am back! I can’t believe we are already well into February. The days are flying past.

The great news is, I have finished my Masters research!!!!! I have submitted it for marking. It has been marked, and I received an A+ for my efforts. I have now officially completed my Master of Communications. The only thing left to do is to hand in two bound copies to the university. I picked these up from the printer last night, and they will be delivered on Monday.

For the last few months I have been completely consumed by writing up my research, and now that it is all over I feel flat. I thought I’d be really excited. All I have been thinking about and focusing on has been getting to the end. Now that I have reached that goal, there is a part of me that is sad. I am reminded of the following quote:

Success is a journey and not a destination. The doing is usually more important than the outcome.
Arthur Ashe

What is wrong with me? It is as though I now feel driven to have to fill this gap in my time quickly. I keep thinking that I need to keep working because I don’t deserve to have a break, or even a life.

Then today when I was at the supermarket I picked up a Her Business magazine and was drawn to an article entitled ‘Are you addicted to work?’

While we may complain about work, it can also be extremely seductive. One of the delicious things about it is the tangible results we see for our efforts – something we don’t always experience with family and friends

….While we love the cut and thrust of working life, many of us have been swallowed up by our jobs and ache for lives with more balance. The more we long for such things, the further out of reach they can seem, as addiction to work has become the norm. Yet while many work cultures do encourage work addiction, often we are equally responsible for our obsession with work. Like most addictions, work addiction tends to creep up on us. We begin by pushing the boat out a little, then some more, until we find ourselves a long way from where we planned to be.

…The more demanding work gets, the longer and harder many of us tend to work in the hope that tomorrow will be better – yet rarely does this prove to be the case.

Hamilton, M. (2006). Are you addicted to work? Her Business, 64 (January/February), p.56-57.

The author claims fear is at the centre of this work addiction and we need to work out what it is we fear.

Oh, I am too tired to deal with this now. I’m off to bed.

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3 Responses to “When you can’t sleep”

  1. on 12 Feb 2006 at 12:46 pm Marg

    Congratualtions on completing your Masters Marica!

    I’m about to begin a Master of Education at UTS – wish me luck!

    Perhaps I’ll look you up when I’m in need of some scholarly inspiration (and when I can’t sleep!) ;o)


  2. on 12 Feb 2006 at 5:46 pm Anonymous

    I’m so sorry that your success has left you feeling flat! You deserve to be out there, shouting from the rooftops – or at least having some well-earned timeout. I believe a long long lunch with friends could do the trick.

    Let’s do it!!!!

  3. on 12 Feb 2006 at 10:28 pm Marica

    Thank you Marg and Anonymous. I appreciate you taking the time to write your comments. I am hanging out for that long, long lunch. You must get in touch with me and let me know when and where. I am definitely keen.

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