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Day 8: Finding the you within

Who am I?

There is a part of me that wants to write, a part that wants to theorise, a part that wants to sculpt, a part that wants to teach …To force myself into a single role, to decide to be just one thing in life, would kill off large parts of me. Rather, I recognise that I live now and only now, and I will do what I want to do this moment and not what I decided was best for me yesterday.

Source: Hugh Prather (1970) in Notes to Myself: My Struggle to Become a Person

Do you know the ‘real’ you?

Is that the same person that is reflected back at you when you look in a mirror, or stare into any kind of shiny object like the stainless steel garden balls we have in our garden?

I have spent years trying to unearth the Marica within. To get to know the ‘real’ me and not the person I think I should be or the person others want me to be. I want to live my life as the authentic me. This means I have to understand my needs, my wants, my desires, my dreams, my limits, my abilities, my strengths, my weaknesses, what motivates me, what I believe, and so on. This process has been equivalent to a lifetime archaeological dig and guess what, it’s still going on.

Digging requires you to get down and dirty. Yet this soil you dig through is what helps you grow and develop into the being that is reflected back at you.

I am discovering that there are many parts to me. My biggest struggle is allowing each of these to flourish, or in some instances even allowing them an opportunity to exist at all. This is a personal ongoing challenge.

If you haven’t spent time with yourself I urge you to. How do you expect to understand others and relate to them if you don’t know who you are? This is not an easy journey. Being the authentic you takes courage, patience, kindness, a willingness to learn and change, and most of all it takes love. Invest time in getting to know the person you were born to be – it may be the best investment you will ever make.

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